Just My Luck
by Kayzi
Summary: I put it back up    INCOMPLETE


_**Disclaimer: I am sad to admit that I do not own the wonderful Transformers and Harry Potter.**_

_**Summary: Simple. Harry fell into the veil and got into another dimension with a species change and gender change. Unfortunately, Harry's the first femme the Cybertonians saw after the AllSpark was destroyed. Emergency Mating Program activated.**_

_**There is no definite timeline.**_

_Oh shit_

Probably pushing Sirius was not a good idea. Not that he wanted his godfather to die or anything; he should have probably watched where he was going. If he would have, he wouldn't be floating aimlessly in the veil.

You heard right.

IN the VEIL.

Only he would get in this kind of situation. It's not his fault that trouble follows him like a lost puppy! Like a honey to a bee! Like a food to a starved animal! Like a meat to a pack of hungry lions!

You get the point.

Anyway, the moment he received the vision of his godfather in Voldemort's hands, being the person he is, he tried to go straight ahead to the Ministry. Fortunately, for his own safety actually, his friends joined him in his adventure to save his godfather from the Dark Lord evil clutches and his minions. Unfortunately for them, it was a trap in order for Harry to get the prophecy involving him and the dark lord and his birthday. Just his luck. So, after escaping the death munchers leaded by our favorite blond haired Malfoy Sr, they stumbled on a room which held an archway, which he later found out as THE Veil. After his friends were held hostage with the prophecy as ransom, the Order of the Phoenix came to the rescue with a dramatic entrance on some sort of white apparition. The dueling started, spells started flying, yada yada, you know already. Then came the battle between Malfoy Sr Vs Sirius plus Harry in where they both managed to disarm Malfoy Sr. Unfortunately again, nobody noticed the crazy Bella (no, not the one in Twilight, seriously, Sparkling Vampires? That's new) until she threw the killing curse to our favorite Sirius Black who was then pushed by our ever favorite wizard, Harry Potter, who tripped and fell through the veil.

Yep. He Tripped.

Stop laughing! It is not his fault! The blame falls to the stupid rock who got into his way! Yes, blame the rock!

Okay, so that is the reason why he is in this situation. Again, floating aimlessly in the veil. Hmmm…

_Ouch!_

He had just slapped his own face.

Nope, definitely not dead. Still alive I see.

_I'm boreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddd._

Hey! Since this is the veil of DEATH, that means he can see his mom and dad!

"Oh where oh where are you dearest mom and dad~"

If you are somehow are weirded(is that even a word?) by this, blame the Dursleys. Being locked in a cupboard does this to you. Especially with no one to keep you company and no one to talk to.

Ohhhh~ A pretty white light. Didn't people always said when you die you see a white light?

_Oh, I see a ground. I must be falling._

…

_Oh shi-_

OOF!

Son of a Troll! THAT HURT!

_I think I cracked my ribs_

…

…

…

WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S PANTIES IS THIS?

HE'S AGIRL!

Well, not really but still

HE'S A GIANT ROBOT GIRL!

HE TURNED INTO A FREAKING GIANT ROBOT GIRL!

Magic. Flying brooms. Supposed dead people on the back of your teacher's head. Deadly Snakes that could kill you with a stare. Criminals after you. Werewolf teachers (though luckily, a kind one). People that can turn into animals. Being stuck competing in a dangerous tournament where many DIED. Facing a dragon. Facing the merfolks. Facing a resurrected Voldemort. Toads wearing PINK. That he could handle.

This… This he could not handle!

HE DID NOT ASK TO HAVE A SEX CHANGE, THANK YOU!

"What in Primus' name?"

It would also seem that he was not alone.

And is currently surrounded by more giant robots.

MALE Giant Robots.

"A femme?"

Alarms went through his systems.

He (or is it She?) is so screwed.

_Someone, just please kill me now_

Sometimes, he just really hated his life. Like now.

**ooOoo**

A stare down occurred.

I will not blink.

...

...

...

I blinked.

"Hi, I come in peace"

…

Proboably not a bright thing to say.

Whoah! Did their eyes(_what are robot's eyes called?)_ just turn black?

I KILLED THEM! Shit! It was an accident! I swear I'm innocent!

_Calm down_

Huh? Who are you?

_Your conscience. You know, the little voice in your head?_

…

…

You're Voldemort, aren't you?

_Damn. How did you know?_

You told me

_Damn! Ok. I WAS a part of Voldemort once but I was separated by accident and was attached to your soul by ACCIDENT(DON'T PANIC!) and then became a part of you later on. Even now I'm you, since I was once a part of him, it gives both of you a connection to each other._

Wait. You mean you're the reason why I get those nightmares and how Voldemort can send me those visions?

_Exactly_

…

_Wait! What's with the mallet? H-Hey! C-calm down! N-now, put that mallet away and we'll talk calm-_

BAM!

_Stop!_

WHAM!

_MY BACK!_

WHAM!BAM!BAM!

_I think I broke a rib…_

Grrrr!

_WAIT!WAIT! LET ME EXPLAIN!_

Ok, it better be good or I'll make it look like what I did earlier is like heaven compared to what I'm going to do with you next!

_Ok Ok! Well, when you passed through the veil, your human body died so when you arrived to this universe, there is nothing that can contain your soul. So the Gods here, decided to give you a new body with the help of the Allspark and Primus._

Ok. I have a lot of questions. I'll start with this first: WHY THE HECK AM I FEMALE?

_Er… you see. Death lost a bet with Fate. Death bet that you will die dramatically in the hands of Voldemort in a final battle in Hogwarts where you will be then come back to life and kills Voldemort. After that, you will marry Ginny, have kids named Lily, James Sirius and Albus Severus and live happily ever after. Fate bet that you would die early in a stupid way. Like tripping over a rock._

It was not my fault! Blame the stupid rock!

_Uh-huh. More questions?_

What is the Allspark? Who are those guys over there?

_Well let me tell you a story. You see, they come from a veeeeeeery diiiiiiiiiiiistant planet called Cybertron. Two fractions: the Decepticons and the Autobots, fought in the war. You see, the Allspark is this cube thingy that can give life to their kind. The Decepticons want to use it to conquer the world, universe etcetera etcetera while the Autobots want peace and tries to stop them. Some dude threw the Allspark by accident and years and years later, it landed on Earth. Megatron, who is the leader of Decepticons, followed it and crashed landed somewhere in Antartica? Dunno but somewhere really really cold since he basically turned into a giant robot popsicle. Some old guy named Archibald Witwicky found him and the Allspark. Years later, an autobot scout named Bumblebee(cute name by the way) found one of Witwicky's descendants, Sam Witwicky who has the eyeglasses which holds the location of the Allspark. Like a GPS or a tracker. Bumblebee called his fellow autobots and they searched the Allspark. Unfortunately, a small decepticon managed to infiltrate the base where the humans hid Megatron AND the Allspark. Luckily for the Autobots and Humans, Bumblebee was there and got the cube before Megatron was fully unfrozen. A battle broke out in Mission City, Megatron and Optimus (Leader of the Autobots) fought and Sam shoved the Allspark into Megatron's spark which is in his chest thus leading to his death._

Is that robot over there Megatron?

_Huh? Oh, yes that's him. Why?_

He's alive

_He was revived by a shard of the Allspark and they're called mechs._

Why did Fate chose a female body?

_Fate's humor. Blame her. Ok, I have something to tell you. You see, there's something called Mating Program in the mechs. It only activates in their processors when they're the last of their kind and the Allspark is destroyed. It makes them only focus on restoring their kind. They find a femme (female robots by the way, like you) court her, etcetera etcetera._

What does it have to do with me?

_Well… you see, the war had many casualties and most of them are femmes and sparklings (babies and child robots). Since you're the last femme they had seen since centuries of centuries and the Allspark is destroyed… well… I think you already get the idea…_

…

…

I'm in deep shit, aren't I?

_Yes._

Should I run?

_Start running._

Ok.

OOF!

_You tripped. Again._

"Little Femme, are you injured?"

Oh shit.

_Wow, they are certainly fast. The one who caught you is called Starscream, Second in Comman of Decepticons and trine leader. The one who asked you is called Ratchet, he's the Autobot's Chief Medic._

I'm SURROUNDED!

_Look on the bright side, at least you'll have a male harem. You'll pampered,_ _taken good care-_

YOU ARE NOT HELPING!

_**System Shut Down In 10 seconds**_

Wha-

_It means you're going to recharge for a bit since your body is still new. Nighty night!_

Zzzzzzzzzttttt….

My vision suddenly blackened and I promptly passed out leaving a group of panicking mechs.

_Who knew that he…she will be the one to unite them? –smirks-_

**ooOoo**

BANG!

"You volunteering as my target practice, you decepticon punk?"

"Do not touch those! Those are fragile!"

"Stay away from me, Autoscum!"

CRASH!

"I'll rip you into pieces!"

"Junkyard drone!"

"Piece of Scrap!"

"Rust Bucket!"

"I'm going to kick your aft!"

BOOM!

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Those were the first things I noticed when I regained consciousness. Though I kept my eyes… er, optics closed… I mean offline. Man, this is going to take a lot to get used to.

The second one was,

_Ouch… I feel like a nest of dragons trampled on me and one ate me then spit me out. _

Basically, I feel like shit

_You awake now?_

_You're still here?_

_I'm you so you're stuck with me as long as you live. Or did you suddenly have a memory loss?_

_You mean it's not a dream?_

_Hate to burst your bubble but yeah, it happened. You tripped to the veil, went to another dimension, turned into a giant female robot and is going to have a giant male robotic harem who will try their hardest to earn your affections. Congratulations._

_Crap._

_And this only happened over an hour since you've arrived._

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

"I will not loose to you, Prime"

"As will I, brother"

"Get this fragging twins off me!"

"Don't shoot at me, fraghead!"

_What the?_

I quickly open- I mean online my optics and sat up.

What in the world happened here? It looked like a freaking earthquake followed by a hurricane happened here!

Except there are fighting giant male alien robots.

Giant male alien robots that wants to court me in order to mate with me to restore their kind.

And I can't do a damn thing about it since it's programmed in their processors since they were born… or however they were.

_Well, you can hide for the rest of your life. And it's quiet a long one._

_Really?_

_Nope. They'll find you eventually. They're like a millions years old. Their kinds are OLD. Older to be your great grandfather times infinity._

_And they're going to be my mates? That's pedophile, you know!_

_I see you're starting to accept the idea!_

I just ignored him/her/it? Let's just stick with it. Since it's a voice, thus no gender.

_I'm hurt! My spark aches on your rejection! Oh Primus, I see the white light!_

_Shut up._

_And technically, since I'm you, I can be classified as a femme, therefore, a she._

I suddenly shuddered as a mental image of Voldemort wearing a dress and make up. With a tiara on his head as he ordered his minions to call him Queen Voldemort. Gross.

_Eeewwww! You have a sick mind! I think I'm going to have nightmares for life!_

_Let's just forget about that and concentrate on finding a way out of here._

_Hello? Are you blind? How can you escape with these mechs here?_

_They're preoccupied. They won't notice me._

_I'm not listening to you._

I slowly put my feet on the floor as a stood beside from the metal table thingy I had been laying on. I took one small quiet step toward the door to my freedom.

As I tried to walk on my shaking legs, I did the same thing for the third time.

I tripped.

BANG!

The sounds of fighting stopped as all attention turned to me.

_You sure are heavy. I think I can see the dent on the floor the shape of your butt._

_Are you implying that I'm fat?_

_You said that. Not me._

"Are you alright, little femme?" the one before… um… his name is something with Screaming Stars? Ah, Starscream! Well, he quickly walked up to me and helped me up though it was no use since my legs seemed too lazy to cooperate I so I had to grab his shoulders. He also put his hands on my waist to keep me steady. Pervert. Though I appreciate the help… Be careful with the claws though.

Another one walked right next to him. Why do I get the feeling as if I tried to leave the Healing Wing and got caught by Madam Pomfrey?

"You should not be walking yet"

He quickly took me from Starscream's arms and put me back on the metal table thingy I woke up from. For a metal table, it was surprisingly comfortable.

_He's called Ratchet. The Autobot's Chief Medic._

_Oh just great!_

_Well, at least you have your personal healer!_

_You really are enjoying this way too much, aren't you?_

_Yep! You're father's is real proud of you! At just age fifteen, you're going to have you own male harem!_

"Is the femme alright, Ratchet?" He's tall…Why the heck is everyone taller than me?

Am I forever cursed by shortness?

A snort resounded in my mind followed by laughter. A loud one.

Ouch.

"The femme is in full health, Optimus"

I scratched my helm… er head?helm?head?helm? let's just stick with head.

It was a black mech, named… Ironhide? Yeah, he's the autobot's weapon specialist or something.

"Who did this?" he snarled as he snatched my hand.

The hand which had the fresh scars of 'I will not tell lies'. Though they're chicken scratches but quiet deep and clean.

_You just insulted your own hand writing._

The others immediately took notice and anger coated the entire room.

_They don't look veeerry happy._

_Well, they are very protective of their femmes and sparklings. As you are the first femme they had seen for thousands of years, any harm that will come to you will be painfully terminated._

_Damn! I would like to see what they would do to that Umbridge!_

A nod. _Too bad she's a dimension a way._

_They're super advanced alien robots aren't they?_

…

…

Two evil maniac laughter filled their minds. Revenge is near.

Buwahahahahahahahahaha!

Somewhere, outside the base, thunders boomed.

Dolores Umbridge, your days are numbered.

"I will tear them into pieces!" Ironhide, again.

"For once, I agree with you" Megatron

I blinked. Why do I suddenly have the image of them carrying pitchforks and torches?

_My, they sure are getting along._

Another hand gently took mine from Ironhide. It was another… seeker? "Don't worry, little femme. We will hunt down whoever did this unforgivable crime to you"_Thundercracker. A part of Starscream's tine._

_Why does everyone calls me __little__ femme?_

_You're short. Enough said._

_!_

_Ack! You're strangling me!_

"May we be blessed of your name, little femme?" _Phew. Save by the mech. That's Skywarp. The third one of the trine. He has a unique ability like apparation. Nice abilities for the sparklings._

_Will you shut up about that?_

_Nah. I'm just preparing for your future. Because it would seem that you're going to have lots and lots of sparklings running around. Though I hope they wont inherit your father's genes when you have Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's sparklings. The world wont be able to handle it._

…

_I hate you_

_Awww. I love you too. Though you should already answer them. They're starting to get worried._

_Crap. What should I say? I can't just say 'Hello, my name is Harry. I'm a wizard from another dimension. Did I mention that I __was male__?'. They'll think I'm nuts!_

_Just think of something!_

"Firebolt. My name is Firebolt"

_Firebolt? Why in Primus' name are you thinking of your broom at a time like this?_

_Well it could be worse._

"What a beautiful name for a beautiful femme"

"It suits you very well"

_Are they flirting with me?_

_Yep. They're courting you. Good luck –smirks-_

_Hey! Don't leave me!_

Ratchet quickly took them both away from me. He gave them a glare worthy of Snape, "Enough of that. The femme still needs to rest. Get out of my med bay. Now!"

They froze up as they suddenly took in their surroundings.

The equipments.

_Damaged_ Equipments.

The silence was deafening.

A roar of rage echoed throughout the base.

I winced. I sure am lucky I'm not one of them.

_Those poor unfortunate souls._

"GET BACK HERE! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU INTO PIECES!"

_-snickers-_

Apparently, one thing that is known about Ratchet and his infamous wrath is that whether you're the source of it or not, you have to do one thing.

Run Like Hell.

Even Optimus and Megatron.

Nobody messes with a medic and gets away with it.

_**ooOoo**_

It had been three days.

Three days since she fell from the veil.

Three days since she arrived on this world.

Three days since she turned into a femme.

Three days since she found out she was the last hope of the future of a race.

She was not amused when Vi, you know the voice in her head, gave her a crash course of Cybertron equivalent of Kama Sutra_. In details._

She was forever scarred. Mentally of course.

Besides that, everything was fine and normal in the not-so-normal life of Harry James Potter, now Firebolt. She was starting to get used to it.

The Autobots and Decepticons, to the surprise of humans, set their differences and hatred for each other in order to pursue in courting the femme. It's impossible to court someone in the middle of a war, no?

Thus, the courtship began.

Gifts, Trinkets and anything that looked fancy and beautiful were given to her as gifts. Skywarp even had given her a jeweled rock from a distant planet! It was to say, beautiful and she liked it immediately to the delight of the seeker.

Lucky for her, they were different from her fan girls back home so no love potions or mobs. They sure are scary enough to make even the Dark Lord cower.

Apparently, forcing someone to bond is **Taboo**. They would sooner offline themselves than commit that crime. Even the Decepticons.

Bonding is a very very **serious **business.

Ratchet had been a great help. He was patient when he taught her how to walk again and was eager when he replaced the armor with the 'I will not tell lies'. She also found out that the lightning bolt scar on her forehead had come with her even on this form, though it looked more like a design and more cool. Which is why Thundercracker had commented her name suited her.

Speaking of seekers, the Cybertron Flyers, she was one. She was happy that she had not lost the ability to fly. Starscream and his trine had taken it upon themselves to teach her how to fly. It was even more fun than riding a broom!

The rest of the mechs did not think so when they saw her do the Wronski Feint.

Simple to say, they panicked.

Optimus, Megatron and Ratchet were not _amused_. They almost came to terms to ban her from doing those moves again but changed their minds when she turned her pleading optics at them. Man, they were whipped. That did not stop Ratchet dragging her to the med bay to check for injuries though.

She was sure she did see those proud look on the Seeker trine's optics.

As for why the Autobots and Decepticons did not ask anything on her lack of knowledge, well… saying that she had lost her memory helped.

Come on! It was not like she would go straight up to them and say she was formerly a _male human wizard _from _another dimension._

They would probably send her to Ratchet for check up or think she got her hands on high grade energon.

…

Okay, so she almost destroyed the base when she accidentally drank one.

It was only once!

How was she supposed to know what she was drinking?

When Ironhide had found out her 'memory loss' he immediately offered her training.

She accepted.

She laughed in glee as she fired another shot with her cannon.

It was fun! Especially the blowing up part with her cannons!

It helped that she kept imagining Voldemort in her targets.

**lll**

After she escaped ahem… left the med bay, she had encountered Sam and Mikaela, the human and his girlfriend that Bumblebee was guarding. They had gotten along well and with the humans assuming she was the new arrival, proceeded to introduce her to the rest of humans in the base.

She was fine with everyone, especially the NEST.

Galloway. **NOT.**

Unfortunately for her, Galloway was saved from being squashed by a giant metallic foot when Ratchet found her and dragged her back to the med bay.

After an hour of scolding, Ratchet left to get some tools.

It finally dawned on her.

She was homesick.

**ooOoo**

_The Autobots and Decepticons are beginning to worry._

She ignored Vi, as usual.

She had locked herself in her temporary room and had stayed there for two days.

No Hermione and scolding and lessons and studying.

No Ron and chess and food and Quidditch.

No Neville and Trevor and Potions blowing up.

No Luna and Nargles and her imaginary(is it?) animals.

_You're sulking, you know._

No Snape and his hate for her and her father.

No more Dumbledore and his twinkly eyes and lemon drops.

No more Quidditch.

No more Golden Trio and their adventures.

No Hogwarts and Magic.

She was happy that there were no Dursleys though.

But she had the right to sulk and mope, damn it!

There was a knock on her door.

"Firebolt, you there?"

It was Sam.

She gave a depressed hum in confirmation.

"The guys received a signal that two arrivals are entering Earth's atmosphere. Wanna come and greet them when they arrive?"

Silence met his answer. Sam sighed. The Autobots and Decepticons are confused at the reason why the femme was depressed and locked herself in a room. It was starting to affect everyone in the base. It came to a shock to every humans when they witnessed Optimus and Megatron make a truce. The Decepticons looked like a love-sick puppy to his amusement. Just don't tell them he said that.

He shared a look with his guardian and was about to leave when the door slid open.

"Can I come?" It seemed like a good idea to do. She needed a distraction from depressing thoughts anyway.

**ooOoo**

Vi was soundly panicking in her mind.

_For all good and holy, PLEASE NO! NOT THEM!_

She stared.

They stared.

It was tense.

No one was willing to break the silence.(Except for Vi of course but no one except Firebolt can hear her, and 'bolt is preoccupied at the moment)

No one moved.

Everyone watched as the staring contest continued.

"Fred? George?"

_WE'RE DOOMED! THE WHOLE WORLD IS DOOMED!_

_**ooOoo**_

She could hardly believe it.

The new arrivals were twins.

Twin _femme seekers._

They were exactly identical. Down to their armors, height, looks and vocal processors! Even their signals!

That was not the reason why they shocked her though. It was their spark and presence. So familiar. Very Familiar.

Confused optics faded into understanding as both of the twins' optics landed on the bolt mark in her forehead.

"Harry?" Simultaneously, they asked. At the same time. Not even a second gap.

Exactly like…

"Fred? George?"

She fainted.

**ooOoo**

Chaos.

It was the only one word to described the days ever since the new femme seeker arrivals came.

Why chaos?

Well, to make a story short it all started with a small and harmless prank meant for Ratchet from the Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, the robo-twins for now.

Instead, the seeker twins came at the wrong place at the wrong time.

They accidentally triggered the prank.

And got pranked.

The seeker twins declared war on the robo-twins.

Darn, robo-twins, seeker-twins. Twins. Confusing, ne?

Well, back to the story.

It was the start of something that would go down to history.

Prank War.

No human, Decepticon and Autobots escaped unscathed.

It did not help that Firebolt had joined the fray on her fellow femmes' side.

How?

Well, it involved high grade energon.

A lot of high grade energon.

Don't ask.

Thus, the Inner Marauder and Inner Slytherin were unleashed, backed up with Vi. It also did not help that they were also drunk.

Many wondered how the base still stood as the Prank War waged on.

_Oh Primus/God/Allah help us, _were the collective thoughts of everyone, mech and humans, as they tried to escape the chaos around them. The animals had long escaped the vicinity.

No one was suicidal enough to try and stop them.

**ooOoo**

Everyone watched with horror.

The apocalypse was near. They were sure of it.

Both sets of twins and Firebolt had decided on a truce and celebrated with high grade energon (Firebolt was still drunk). Wheeljack was dragged in as well. (He was in his lab the whole time so he had no clue about the Prank War)

The group then decided to do some experiments and was in the Wheeljack's lab.

Drunk.

They were doomed.

**BOOM!**

**ooOoo**

In the night, the dim lighted hallway, staggered Firebolt as she tried to get her balance.

Which was none at all since she always tripped over air.

_Whee~ Again! Again!_

Drunk.

She had fled the party when both sets of twins started to give each other_ suggestive_ looks. And when Fred, now _ had jumped on Wheeljack and started snogging him, she immediately made her escape. As drunk as she was and as much as she was happy that two of her friends were here, she has no desire to see them in _action._ Drunk or no.

_But it was hot! Come on! You know you want to~_

Firebolt shuddered. _They're like my brothers… er sisters you know!_

She got a disappointed sigh. _Your loss. Their gain._

She shrugged and turned to the problem at hand.

She was lost.

Technically, she forgot where her room was.

_Left or right?_

_Eenie Minie Miney Mo!_

Why does that door look familiar?

_Big giant huge doors of DOOM!_

Ah, the med bay.

She opened the doors slowly. Unfortunately for a certain doc bot, the med bay was empty.

She grinned.

_This is going to be fun!_

**ooOoo**

**Caution! Caution! System-**

…

_Dang, again._

She quickly moved to another one. She was not sure what it was but she knew Ratchet was going to be pissed so she shifted the blame. All around her were destroyed equipments, fortunately not the major ones. The walls were painted bright pink with blinding yellow smiley faces. On the walls, painted in bright neon green were the words: **Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were here.**

She was in a mischievous mood right now.

Did she say she was drunk?

She randomly pressed a button on some kind of computer thingy.

**BOOM!**

It was a still silence.

She did not move even a centimeter, waiting for the tell tale sign of rushed metallic footsteps.

A minute passed by.

Another two passed.

…

Oh right! She forgot the room was soundproofed!

Wait. Actually, that was her room.

The twins spiked all the drinks before they celebrated so all mechs and humans are currently unavailable.

With a grin worth of a marauder, she immediately set out to another one.

**ooOoo**

She was in heaven.

She was sure of it.

Glowing neon pink cubes stared at her.

_JACKPOT!_

She had found the hidden stash of high grade energon cubes of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

Let the party begin!

Moments later found an extremely drunk femme doing a ballerina twirl.

_Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~_

_I'm a little tea pot, short and stout! Here is my handle and here is my snout!_

_This is fuuuuuuuuuun!_

It is safe to say, the med bay stands no chance.

She paused as a glint caught her optic.

_Whoa! The world is spiiiiiniiiiiing! Wheeeeeee! Spin!Spin!_

She stared.

_Shiny._

_Shiny? Where?_

She crouched and crept closer to the table. It was only her chance.

It. will. be. HERS!

_MINE!_

She jumped.

She miscalculated.

She hit the side of the table.

Head first.

Hard.

_Owowowowowowowow! In the name of Voldemort's pink tutu, that FREAKIN' HURT!_

"SHINY!" without heed, she grabbed the super duper shiny thing and held it possessively against her chases. It is HERS. Only hers. She rubbed her face on it. Shiny. Definitely hers. _My preciousssssssssss~_

_Is that an arm?_

_MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINE!_

_A shiny robotic arm. Shiny~_

_Should we cut the arm? Where will we hide it? What will we tell Ratchet? Most of all, whose arm is that?_

She didn't care. It was hers. It belongs to her now. She pulled. !

She paused and stared, mesmerized as the entire body was revealed (it was covered by some sort of cloth. A giant cloth)

_Wow. Talk about super shine. This guy must have used a lot of wax to make it shine like that. Hey, you ok? You're oddly quiet._

_Can I keep him?_

_Sure. He's shiny enough. You have to share though._

_Wake him up?_

_Okay. It's polite to tell him of our ownership. He shall be dubbed… Shiny!_

_Shiny of doooooooom! Doom! Doom doom doom doom_

"Hello Mr. Super Shine. I am here to tell you that your shiny self belongs to me now. So wake up"

…

poke"Shiny? You there?"

"Hello~"

"Can you here me?"

"I come in peace"

"By the power magic has bestowed upon me, I command you to wake up!"

"Open sesame!"

"You're on fire"

"There's a snake in your armor"

"Hot girls, twelve o'clock"

"You're under arrest"

"There's a flood"

"Your foot is slowly being eaten by a bunch of fleas"

"Wake up or suffer extreme pain"

"Ba-weep-grah-nah-weep-nini-bon!"

"BOOYAH!"

"RISE AND SHINE, SHINY!"

"You're beauty sleep has ended"

"The earth says wake up"

"RAWR! I AM THEE VAMPYRE!"

"I am here to claim your soul"

_CLANG CLANG_"HEEEELOOOOOOOOOOOOO? ANYBODY HOME?"

_Did you just hit him with Ratchet's wrench of doom?_

_Would you prefer if I hit him with that equally shiny table?_

_You have a point. Just don't do much damage on his shiny self._

_Roger that. Shall I zap him?_

_You shall._

Zap him she did.

Though she did not know one teeny weeny little fact when wizards and witches are drunk.

Their magic becomes wild and uncontrollable.

So, since she did not use any magic since she arrived, it was ready to burst and get some action.

Add to the fact that she's one of the magically strongest witchzard (witch/wizard)

In other words, everyone's favorite mech, who was long dead for about 2 years, shuddered as its body rapidly repaired itself as if a _reparo_ spell was cast, and the long dead spark, flared to life.

To make it short: He came back to life.

Like a zombie.

Yeah, and he will eat everyone's brains.

Probably robot brains.

Wait, do robots have brains? You know, the pink squishy thing inside people's head?

Well, if they don't, well, he would have to settle for the humans.

I hear they taste quiet good this year.

Especially with gravy.

Or was it ketchup?

Just kidding.

Black optics faded into a familiar bright blue color of the autobots. Blue optics that stared at her.

_Do all autobots have the same eye color? Talk about a club! Join Autobots or Decepticons! We have free cookies! And uniform contact lenses._

_Shiny~_

"What's crakin', lil' Angel?"

_Does everyone call you little?_

**ooOoo**

Silence reigned as they stared at each other before she grinned and waved "Hi, I'm Firebolt, your new owner!" she chirped cheerfully.

Mr. Shiny stared at her amusedly. "My new owner?" he asked then grinned "Name's Jazz. So, any plans for today, Angel?"

She just thrust an energon cube at him, still grinning.

He stared at it.

Then at the newly decorated med bay.

And stared back at her.

She was still grinning and holding the offered energon.

A laugh came from him as he took the energon cube "Count me in, Lil' Angel"

She glared at him and hit his head with the wrench **BANG!** "Don't you call me little you overgrown… um…toaster!"

He just laughed.

Yep. It was the start of a new friendship.

**ooOoo**

Firebolt hummed the 'Mission Impossible' theme as she painted the walls in various colors. All around her were mechs and humans knocked out from the spiked drinks with paint and marks covering their faces and body. Off the side was Shiny enjoying himself as he painted red paint on Megatron's face. The Decepticon leader was sure going to be _pissed_ when he finds himself looking like a toddler put make-up on him. Shiny-man even put a pink tutu on him! Though wherever did he get it was unknown to her.

Ironhide was colored _bright pink _with _glitters._

Ratchet was painted blindingly bright yellow with a tiara on his helm.

Optimus was glowing neon green in the dark. With Christmas lights around his arms and legs.

The seeker trine were in the same state of Megatron.

Barricade was covered in glitter.

Blackout was covered in glue and feathers.

All humans had their hair dyed, some clothes changed into clown clothes (by magic –grins-), and some men in dresses, faces covered with drawings, make-up and paint.

Bumblebee was safe.

For now.

_Bwahahahhahahahahaha! _

A giggle resounded in her mind _This is fun! We should do this more often!_

She nodded, grinning. She had been grinning a lot lately.

"Ya doin' fine, Angel?" Jazz asked as he approached her, ropes and buckets of paint in his hand.

"Yup!" she chirped as she took one bucket and placed it above Galloway. Should he move, the rope connecting from his wrist to the bucket will cause it to fall.

Did she mention that she really hated his guts?

"Ya know, Angel, Jazz-man is really grateful that you brought meh back ta life" he told me as he joined me in 'redecorating' the base "Though I did not expect to see da 'cons here wit the 'bots. Whatever ya did, I'm thankful"

She stared at him. A question popped in her head. "Jazz, what does dying feel like?"

It was Jazz's turn to stare at her. It was really a strange question. He rubbed his chin in though "Well, when Megsy ripped me apart, I felt brief pain den nothing. I then found myself floating into an empty darkness. I couldn't feel , I saw a light. It felt like home, and it kept tugging at me so I followed it. After that, ah found myself looking at ya. Why do you ask?"

Somehow, the talk of death sobered both of them. Jazz with his death and Firebolt… no… Harry's destiny. His past life. The prophecy he heard when he had it in his hands. Words spoken loud and clear echoed in his mind.

"'_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches_

_Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies_

_And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal,_

_but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not_

_And either must die at the hand of the other _

_for neither can live while the other survives_

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord_

_will be born as the seventh month dies'_."

Jazz worriedly looked her "Is something wrong, lil' Angel?"

Prophecies… they foretell the future. Nothing was set in stone.

only words but…

Harry Potter's destiny was already entwined with Voldemort's since that day.

The day where he became the Chose One.

_I'm afraid so, 'bolt. We can't mess with fate and destiny. The day the Dark Lord attacked you was the day the prophecy was activated._

_For neither can live while the other survives, huh?_

For once, Vi was silent.

She turned to Jazz "Hey, wanna hear a story?"

And she began speaking.

She could run and hide for all she wishes.

But she couldn't do it forever.

She was already neck deep into it.

She needed to _tell_ someone.

No matter how tough she acts, she was _alone_.

_For neither can live while the other survives…_

_neither can live while the other survives…_

_neither can live while the other survives…_

_neither can live while the other survives…_

**ooOoo**

To say Jazz was mad was like saying the Fallen was a puppy.

No.

He was_ beyond _**angry**. _Beyond _**mad**.

"And they just let it happen to you? You were still a sparkling and they were putting the war in your hands! Even Megatron would not do THAT!" Jazz raged as he paced like an angry lion in the empty room they had found. He looked far from the Jazz a few minutes ago. This Jazz now looked more spikier and his optics were dark bloody red. It was worse than Megatron's.

What kind of people were they!

A sparkling! A **sparkling **the wizarding world had just thrown headfirst to **war**!

A sparkling that was **neglected**!

A sparkling that nearly **died **each year!

He was **enraged**. To the Dursleys, the wizarding world, Voldemort and Dumbledore.

You already know why he hates Voldemort.

Dumbledore.

That son of a 1!#$%!

He put a sparkling into a hate-filled home! Continued to let the events occur throughout the years!

A teacher **possessed **by the Dark Lord.

Cursed **brooms**.

Stairs that** lead** you to **forbidden** rooms.

A fully grown Ceberus.

a** teacher** that have no problem on erasing memories!

A **possessing** diary.

A giant snake! **Basilisk**!

Dementors!

A tournament where many people _**died.**_

Dragons.

Merfolk and _very_ deep lake.

A maze filled with creatures and animals that could **kill** you.

A trap.

A death eater disguised as a _**teacher.**_

_**Blood quills.**_

Teachers that likes to harm you.

Voldemort.

Death eaters.

Department of Mysteries.

The veil of _**death**_.

It all happened in a **school** full of **children! Sparklings!**

And he did **nothing **about it!

They just let a group of **children** solve it!

He was fine with the children, the Wealeys, the Grangers, Remus and Sirius, Lily and James, but the others!

He was not _**happy.**_

A tug on his arm broke him from his murderous thoughts. He quickly hugged the distressed femme.

Especially with the prophecy. There was no way around it. No matter how much the femme wants to ignore it, it will **not **go away.

Either she has to do it or have the Dark Lord do it.

"Jazz, please don't tell the others" A plea. No matter how much he wanted to let the others know, he could not with that would not tell unless it was dire or she was ready. He did not want to cause more distress.

But he swore,

He would not moldyshorts have his way.

He will not let it.

He would **rip** them apart.

But first...

"Hey, wanna switch their guns and cannons into a paintball gun?"

**ooOoo**

When everyone at the base woke up, there was sure a lot of commotion. The twins, both sets, were first blamed but the search party retreated when they got full view of the five still going at it. Megatron was forever scarred for life. The humans had decided to check the cameras and found the culprit to be the currently missing femme, Firebolt and… is that Jazz?

Silence reigned over the control room. Crashes were heard as mechs fell to the ground.

Sam turned to Megatron "I thought you killed him,"

Optimus was in deep thought, "It is possible with the AllSpark's help. We were planning on reviving him but his body was still in repair," he said and turned to look at Ratchet "So how?"

If it was possible for a robot to pale, he would have. As far as Ratchet remembered, Firebolt was on high grade energon and on the screens, she was with Jazz. His body was in repair in the med bay, so…

The mechs and humans were treated to the sight of the autobot CMO running frantic towards the direction of the med bay. An uncharacteristic scream of horror echoed through the base had them running to the med bay… or was the med bay.

Walls were painted pink, yellow and anything that is bright, the tables were upside down, some with scorch marks some in pieces, most of all…

The equipments…

Were damaged.

Again.

"**SUNSTREAKER! SIDESWIPE!"**

Oh shit.

The autobots tried to stop him, to prevent him from witnessing _it_ yet he did not stop, fully focused on his intent. He slammed the door open, the sound echoing throughout the hallways, **"YOU GLITCH HEADS-"**

Only to dodge as a metal table flew over him as it hit the wall behind him with a bang.

"SHUT UP! WE'RE BUSY HERE!" A femme voice shouted as George came and shut the door but not before giving Ratchet a full view of inside.

WHAM!

The autobots watched warily as Ratchet just stood there, frozen.

The CMO's optics began blinking, before fading into black as the body fell to the floor with a clang, the cooling fans activating.

Megatron turned to his brother, "I told you so"

**ooOoo**

Firebolt and Jazz were smart enough to hide for the rest of the day. Fortunately for them, they just left the base when everyone woke up, thus avoiding the results of their pranks. They were out of the base, in a cliff surrounded by trees over viewing the sea. Ever since the confession, Jazz had taken it upon himself to protect the femme. It felt nice, like having an older brother outside the Wealeys.

They just sat there in their bipedal forms, watching the waves. Firebolt leaning on Jazz's shoulder in a comfortable silence.

Jazz chuckled and patted the femmes head. She was really a unique one. With her emerald green optics and attitude, it was no wonder why the autobots and decepticons had taken interest in her. She was one of kind person. His thoughts immediately soured as it reached the thought of the slagging wizarding world. What kind of people are they to put a sparkling on war?

The femme shifted to be in a more comfortable position. She looked at Jazz "How do you think the others are doing?"

He smirked "Probably mad. Let's just let things cool up a bit before we go back," he answered as he put an arm around her shoulder.

"Do you miss Cybertron?"

The question caught him off guard for a moment. The Autobot felt sadness and homesickness at the thought of Cybertron and what it had become. It had been their home, their sanctuary, a peaceful planet. When war had started, battle upon battle had turned it into nothing but a barren wasteland.

"Yes, at times" he admitted, his thoughts on his memories "Cybertron is different from Earth. In here, everything is organic while in Cybertron, everything was metallic"

His wistful tone caught Firebolt's attention. "You really loved your home very much, huh?"

He pat her head, "Very much, lil' Angel. Very much"

She glared at him and punched his shoulder "Call me little again and I'll turn you into a canary!"

They stared at each other before bursting into laughs.

She leaned on him, "You know, I'm kind of glad that I fell through the veil,"

"Kind of?"

"I could do fine without the courting thing. Speaking of that, why aren't you going all sparkly eyes at me? No offense"

Jazz just smirked and rubbed her helm "Ya feel like a lil' sis to me than a sparkmate, angel"

She looked at him, "Can I call you brother?"

"Yep,"

She smirked, "I'll call you Shiny then," _I could get used to this._

"Hey!"

She just laughed.

**BOOM!**

The mood became alert and tense as Jazz immediately stood, cannons drawn. Firebolt followed next, albeit a little slow.

Jazz investigated first while she followed him. A smoking crater was found in what was once a clearing. "Careful, angel"

As the smoke cleared, chirps were heard.

Jazz froze in his steps. He re-onlined his processors to make sure he was seeing it clearly. Primus… It had been vorns since a…

"… Sparkling,"

Firebolt made no move as she too froze but for different reasons. The… sparkling was quite little, and cute of course.

Sure, Vi had given her a crash course of Cybertrons and sparklings were mentioned.

But this was different.

The sparkling has _magic._

Honest to Merlin, God, Primus and all good an' holy,_** magic**_.

Not only that, the magic felt familiar.

As in wizarding world familiar.

The sparkling had stopped her distressed chirps as soon as it spotted them, especially Firebolt. The sparkling cooed and tried its best to crawl at her.

Emerald eyes stared blankly at the crawling sparkling as the owner's processors tried to arrange the sudden inflow of information.

_He_ was here.

As a femme.

As a femme _kid_.

A femme sparkling.

…

…

…

**HOLY PRIMUS! SIRIUS IS HERE AND IS A FEMME SPARKLING!**

Firebolt then proceeded to faint.

Again.

_**ooOoo**_

When Firebolt had re-onlined, it was to see a cute sight of a sparkling Sirius in Jazz's lap while said mech _cooed?_

_The world is definitely ending. I'm sure of it. _The newly awakened Vi commented, staring dumbfounded at the scene.

It did not help that Sirius looked like a mix of her and Jazz. As if they were the parents.

_I think Jazz is going to die again soon but in a horrible death by jealous seekers._ Vi chirped.

As if called, Starscream and his trine arrived which caught the attention of the silver mech and sparkling.

When Jazz and Firebolt had not been found in the base or answer a comm, Megatron and Optimus had launched a search party. Actually, more of the reason of Ratchet's threat of his infamous wrench of doom.

When they found the two, they did not expect to see the autobot with a sparkling.

A stare down occurred between the Trine commander and the sparkling. Neither was willing to move or give up. It was a battle of wills. A battle of dominance. A tense silent battle.

So he was completely caught off-guard when the sparkling immediately launched itself to him with a war cry.

All he registered next was pain.

Everyone watched in dumbfounded fascination as Starscream tried to dislodge the surprisingly vicious sparkling from tearing his arm.

The sparkling was currently winning judging from its claws and fangs denting and scratching armor and tearing out wired. Luckily for the seeker, nothing major was destroyed.

Yet.

Thundercracker and Skywarp immediately burst into action, trying to help their wingbrother on preventing the sparkling without causing harm. Keyword trying.

As soon as they got in range, the sparkling immediately launched itself to Skywarp.

And so became a mass tangle of metallic limbs.

…_Wow._

_Where did Sirius learn that? _Firebolt asked as she watched Thundercracker trying to hold distance from the sparkling from tearing his face. For a small body, Sirius was pretty strong.

_I think it's the red optics. Does Voldemort ring a bell?_

Ah, right. Sirius did not know yet about the Decepticons. Voldemort did also have red eyes so it must have triggered a reaction from him when he saw the trine.

After a few moments, the sounds of fighting stopped.

From the tangled mess, something shifted.

Sirius the sparkling popped out from the mess and raised her fist in the air in a victory sign while the other rested on her hip in a comical pose.

"Dattebayo!"

_Was that a sparkle?_

If Sirius was wearing a cape, she was sure it would be fluttering.

Jazz immediately stood from his position and clapped "Alright! Who kicked aft?"

Sirius cheered "I did!"

The mech lifted the sparkling and swung her around. "That's ma lil' girl!"

Said sparkling stopped cheering and hit the mech's helm "I'm not lil'!"

"You are"

"Am not."

"Yes you are."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!"

"You are!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Am not! Times infinity!"

"You are! Times infinity!"

Jazz waved a finger " Ah! Plus one~"Sirius pouted and crossed her arms "Your cheating!" she accused, pointing a finger at him "You're probably wearing high heels or something!"

Silence reigned on the clearing.

_High heels? Robots wearing high heels? BWAHAHAHAHA! _Firebolt put a servo on her mouth, attempting to muffle her laugh but a snort escaped which immediately caught the attention of the two.

When Sirius caught sight of her, the sparkling's optics immediately brightened as she immediately jumped from the mechs arms and ran straight to the seeker femme with arms wide open.

What the sparkling yelled caused more processors to crash.

"MAMA!"

**ooOoo**

Everything was normal. Just like any other day in the life of NEST.

The sun is up, the birds in flight, the winds breeze with fresh air, flowers in full bloom, people at work, giant robots walking around, hot cars in the tracks, soldiers working out, another one of-

**BOOOOOM!**

…Wheeljack's invention blowing up.

Everyone ducked as the door flew over their heads. After a minute without any more following explosions, most of the workers returned back to their jobs while the new recruits peered curiously at the door before being dragged by their officers to get back to work.

It had been a common occurrence to hear or see something blowing up when the mech had heard the news of a sparkling found. He had been making a toy for the little one with the help of the femme twins.

Though most of the inventions blew up.

The humans and mechs just ignored the noises when Sideswipe and Sunstreaker came for a visit.

Everyone wanted to keep their sanity intact and their minds unscarred by the images.

"GAH! SOMEONE GET THIS OFF ME!"

As they are becoming accustomed to weird happenings (giant alien robots, alien invasion –though cooler aliens than green martians-, enemy robots turned allies, etc.), everyone just continued and went on their merry way ignoring Skywarp running out with the sparkling, Padfoot biting onto his arm while said mech tried to remove her without causing harm. Wouldn't want to bring every femme's wrath to him, now would he?

The scene had been a common occurrence as everyone knows the sparkling's possessiveness over Firebolt where the only ones able to approach one of them without suffering a thousand pains of death were Fred, George and surprisingly Jazz.

Apparently the sparkling had taken a liking to the mech, to the point where when not in the arms of Fireblot, Padfoot would jump up and clutch one of the mech's legs or arms and proclaim "Jazzy!" or "Mine!"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker learned the hard way on how vicious the sparkling is when they teased Jazz on his predicament.

The twins went missing for an hour.

Later on, they were found hiding under in one of Ratchet's tables in the med bay.

They were clutching onto each other like a life-line, shaking and a traumatized look in their optics, their armor painted in bright random rainbow colors, with flower stickers on their wind shields, their helms covered in glue and feathers, pink cloths glued to their waists making a crude form of a tutu, and whimpering that sounded like, "she-devil"

They stayed at the med bay for a week before Ratchet kicked them out when they recovered.

The culprit was never found.

Padfoot continued to hug Jazz with an innocent happy expression.

_And no one even suspected her. Acted like a true Marauder. _Vi commented as Firebolt pried a pouting Sirius off the poor mech before she sent him to the medbay.

The femme stared at the sparkling, "What did I tell you about biting or scratching anyone?"

The sparkling put on her best innocent puppy look "Not to do it 'cuz Hatchet will kick ma aft?"

Ratchet , who had just arrived before going to the med bay, paused before going to the femme and the sparkling, "Now who told you that?" he asked in a restrained calm voice while he fingered the wrench in his hand.

Firebolt sensed it first but before she could stop the sparkling, Padfoot had immediately pointed to the lambo-twins off to the side conversing with the femme twins and loudly proclaimed cheerfully "Those frag heads!" then clapped in delight "Frag! Frag!"

Everyone was silent, unwilling to move as a menacing aura that promise pain flooded the room.

The twins shivered as the CMO slowly turned to them with a murderous look.

When the mech took one step, the twins immediately transformed and bolted out to their escape with Ratchet on their heels.

A minute passed before everyone shrugged and went back on their ways. Firebolt looked at the chirping sparkling before sighing and shaking her head.

Leaning over the wall, Megatron watched the femme with an energon cube on his servos.

She was… different so to speak. A puzzle hard to solve. A riddle with an unknown answer. One moment you have her figured our, the next she does something completely unpredictable.

"You know, if you like her, tell her" a thoughtful faraway voice broke his thoughts.

No, he did not jump.

He was Lord Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, feared ruler, harbinger of death!

He was not startled.

At all.

Really.

He turned to face an unidentified sky blue femme with a faraway look on her optics standing beside him.

"Who are you? How did you get here?" he snarled, suspicious. There were no reports of new arrivals, especially femmes and she was not one of them.

She continued to talk in that absentminded voice "Luna Lovegood. The Nargles told me to come here,"

He looked at her confused and searched the world wide web but found none "Nargles?"

Luna nodded and faced him, "Yes. Nargles. Thought you seem to have a large infestation of Wrackspurts"

He stared at her.

"They're invisible things that floats in though your ears and makes your brain go fuzzy"

He was about to say something when he heard Prime call his name. When he turned back to her, she was gone.

She was strange.

**ooOoo**

Alarms blared throughout the base.

Everyone was in panic.

People ran left and right, trying to escape their eminent doom.

They did not want to be there when the incident happens.

Again.

Why?

"**OPTIMUS!** THE TWINS GOT THEIR HANDS ON HIGH GRADE AND _**FIREBOLT AND JAZZ AND THE SPARKLING!"**_

"**WHAT?"**

No one wants to stand in the middle of drunk pranksters.

One known fact about the silver mech is that when he's drunk, a side of him … opens.

Meaning: PRANKSTER.

High Grade Energon + Lambo Twins + Femme Seeker Twins + Firebolt + Jazz = Drunk = **CHAOS**

With capital letters and underlined.

They were sure it would be a hundred times worse than the one after the prank war.

**ooOoo**

Firebolt watched the commotion with a raised optic ridge, while balancing the load she was carrying "Should we tell them it's just normal energon that looks like a high grade?"

The femme twins beside her carrying equal amounts of energon cubes looked at each other before staring at her.

They shared smirks.

"Nah,"

**ooOoo**

"So, how did you guys get here?" Jazz asked everyone in the room (Firebolt, Fred, George, Padfoot, Luna) while he sipped his drink. The Lambo twins were outside hunting for Ironhide's secret stash of high grade energon.

Fred leaned at her twin, "We followed him,"

"We can't miss,"

"An opportunity like that,"

"We hid under the invisibility cloak,"

"Which Harry dear left by the way,"

"We followed him to the Veil,"

" of Death!" Sirius chirped.

"You tried to stop him?" Firebolt asked as she stroked Padfoot's helm.

The sparkling snorted, "No, they actually tried to help me but they tripped and got dragged along me,"

George pouted and crossed her arms, "Bloody Rock," she grumbled.

Fred patted her twin's shoulder sympathetically, "The Rock has a grudge against us, I'm sure of it"

_Familiar situation, eh?_

Luna grabbed another energon cube "The Nargles told me,"

Jazz looked confused while the others nodded in understanding.

"By the way, Remus might probably arrive sooner or later"

Firebolt chocked on her drink, "Remus?"

_What is this? A reunion?_

The twins nodded, "He tried to stop us,"

"But tripped,"

"On the same rock" they chorused.

As if summoned, a black hole appeared and spat out a humanoid metallic form.

Our all time favorite darling adorable werewolf.

Remus Lupin.

As a mech.

Does that make him a were_mech_?

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker chose this moment to arrive, arms full of high grade energon.

"Let's PAAARTEEY! !"

The twins and Jazz cheered.

Firebolt rolled her optics while Luna requested for Butterbeer.

Sirius brightened, "Is there Firewhisky?"

Remus just looked confused.

**ooOoo**

Moony raised his own energon cube mixed with Firewhisky the Weasley Twins had conjured. The group had been drinking for hours and they were now far beyond from the point of being sober. "A toast!" he proclaimed cheerily "A toast in the name of Pranking!"

Everyone raised their own drink, "Cheers!"

Sunstreaker reached for another mixed cube. "This stuff is good!" he praised before looking at his drink with an adoring gaze, "Where have you been my entire life?"

Fred giggled before taking the mech's cube "Hiding from you apparently" she said ignoring the mech reaching for the cube as she drank it. She kissed his cheek as an apology when he pouted.

"How did ya get here, Moony?" Firebolt asked as she leaned against said mech. "Not that I'm not happy yer here"

Moony drunk as he was pointed at the ceiling "Fell from there!" he giggled before pointing at the twins who were busy with their counterparts and Padfoot who was trying to reach an energon cube "Followed those idiots and tried to stop them from doing something stuupiiid but fell!" he exclaimed happily before noticing something amiss "Hey, where'z Luna?"

The femme seeker shrugged and drank her energon cube "Said something about hunting a bumblebee and a cop and making out" she answered before looking at the twins.

_Whohoo! That's hot!_ Vi cheered as things between them got heated. _Now I want my own! Let's go find the other Seekers!_

_As tempting as it would be, no._

_Come on~ it'll be fun!_

Jazz, who was still sober enough, took the energon cube out of the sparkling's hand. "No more for you, lil' one. The Hatchet will kill me if he finds out"

Padfoot crossed her arms "_If _he finds out" she countered cheekily.

The mech stared at her challengingly.

The sparkling put on her best puppy eyes.

He continued to stare at her.

She pouted.

Jazz inched the cube towards her.

Padfoot reached for it with a hungry expression.

He ignored the indignant yelp from the sparkling as he immediately downed the drink.

Padfoot stared at him before glaring, her hands slowly inching towards the unsuspecting neck. Dieeeeee…

The silver mech smirked, amused at her reaction "Wanna go prank someone?"

The sparkling paused its advance before brightening and immediately jumping onto the mech's shoulders.

Pranks first. She could get her revenge later.

The sparkling grinned evilly as her processor began to plot.

After all, no one steals from a Marauder and gets away with it.

Moony and Firebolt watched as the two left the room before looking at each other.

"Tour?" the femme offered, gesturing to the door.

The mech looked at the occupied twins before nodding. "I wonder how Molly would react when she finds out about this," he asked out loud before walking out.

A satisfied smirk appeared on his face as he heard two yelps and a crash.

Other Dimension or not, Molly Weasley is a formidable woman especially as a mother.

**ooOoo**

Everyone watched in awe at the awe-inspiring sight before them.

Moony scanned the figure in front of him before nodding in satisfaction. His body shifted as he changed to his choice of alt mode.

It helped that it looked cool.

All over the place the Fangirls and Fanboys screamed and cheered in delight and happiness as they witnessed their dream come true.

An exact replica stood beside the real life sized figure.

Did I forgot to mention that the two drunk Marauders are in an anime-con full of humans with a figure of Liger Zero Jager which Moony just chose as his alt?

Vi just laughed in manic delight.

**ooOoo**

After 2 hours filled with complying to the request and demands of the Zoids fans (and some Gundam fans) to take pictures with them and interviews (fortunately, they revealed nothing important) both of them went back to the base. No one knew they left.

"And this is not your new room!" Firebolt said before pushing Moony in his new quarters. Tired as he was, the mech just complied and shut the door close. He fell into deep recharge as soon as he hit the berth.

It was comfy~

Firebolt hummed a cheery tune as she skipped down the hallway.

Vi laughed. _You minx! You put him in Ratchet and Ironhide's room!_

The femme just grinned. _Now, where to find Sirius and Jazz?_

**ooOoo**

Twin screams echoed through the base.

Firebolt snuggled to the warmth beside her. _I guess they found 'bout the paint remover in the showers._

_Heh. Just wait 'till they find out 'bout the wax._

An arm tightened on her waist.

She snuggled closer. It was so comfortable~

Optics suddenly came online.

"Shit" was only her word as she took in the mechs around her.

Starscream.

Thundercracker.

Skywarp.

And…

Optimus?

In a berth with her.

_Please tell me you did not have an orgy and I could not remember anything enough to savor it! _Vi wailed. This would have been good if only she remembered what happened! Dang!

Firebolt was sure Fate was laughing somewhere with James cheering.

'Cuz the three 'cons and one 'bot had just woken up.

They stared at each other in a tense silence.

**ooOoo**

Remus expected many things. A shout, a yell, a fight, anything. I mean, people usually panic or have a negative reaction when you find a stranger in your own bed, especially when you remember of the _activities_ you did. Not to say he wasn't pleased. It was actually the exact opposite.

As he was currently kissed into oblivion by the black mech while the yellow one was busy with the sensitive wires on his neck, he decided he was one very pleased and very very happy werewolf. He has Sirius, Harry, new friends and two mates who would love him and judge him not of his difference.

He made a mental note to thank Harry later.

And the AllSpark.

And Primus.

And-

Oh~That felt good~

**ooOoo**

A tense silence surrounded the room as they stared at each other.

"Hi?" she meekly greeted, bringing the attention on her. Vi was still wailing on how she missed the orgy.

Optimus looked around him "Does anyone remember what happened?" he asked as he checked his memory on what had transpired last night but found it blank. The last thing he had remembered was talking to Ironhide over a cube of energon, the weapon specialist leaving to find Ratchet then… nothing.

Silence answered his question.

"Those fragging TWINS!" Starscream exclaimed as he reached the conclusion of the twins' involvement.

After all, both sets of twins had spiked the drinks before.

"Oh to hell with it!" Firebolt grumbled before grabbing the seeker's armor down to her level and snogging the living daylights off him.

_YAHOO!_ Vi cheered as Skywarp started gently massaging Firebolt's sensitive wings. Thundercracker had joined in as well, leaving Optimus to stare at them in shock.

The femme panted through her vents as she released the seeker before turning to Optimus and brought him down.

To Vi's delight and three mechs and on femme's pleasure, they never left the room for a very long long time.

The humans had learned to ignore those kinds of noises after the Twins incident so they were ignored for the time being.

**ooOoo**

Hermione groaned as she tried to move her sore body. Whatever had happened, she surely did hit something. **Hard**.

She noticed the change of surroundings, panicking first before forcing herself to calm down. Now what happened? The last thing she remembered was being in her room researching a way to find her best friend, hearing the door of the house exploding, running downstairs and seeing death eaters, dragging her parents out of the house-

Wait.

Death Eaters!

Where were her parents?

She tried to stand up but fell down on her knees and servos…

Hermione stared in shock at her hands. _Metallic _hands. She followed the sight of her hands to her shoulders, torso and waist and feet. With trembling hands, she touched her face and felt nothing but metal.

A groan beside her interrupted her hyperventilating. She snapped her attention to the source, only to face red eyes (_optics,_ her mind _processor_ corrected)

Warning rang through her.

With reflex and mastery thanks to Harry and the DA, she pointed her arm forward and shouted.

**ooOoo**

Megatron groaned as he rubbed his dented helm.

He was just taking a walk when he was hit with something hard.

Now, he was not caught unaware.

Definitely not.

He was Lord Megatron, feared leader of the Decepticons, Harbinger of Death-

"**STUPEFY!"**

He barely managed to dodge the strange light with ease and reflex he learned during the wars and battles. With experience, he aimed his cannon at his assailant and shot.

The intruder impressively managed to dodge (the shot was very close) and shot another one of those strange lights "Reducto!"

He was very lucky since the place where he had been a second ago became an impressive sized crater.

They circled each other, smoke covering everywhere but not enough to hid each other's shadowed form.

The Decepticon leader gave a manic grin. He had been itching for a fight!

His opponent better give him a worthy and challenging fight!

After all, he is Megatron. He is not going to fight a weakling.

**ooOoo**

**Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!**

Before the alarms even rang, both mechs and humans were already up and running, gearing themselves up.

How can anyone ignore the blasts and explosions near the base?

"SHUT UP!" Remus, irritated that his _session_ was interrupted, slammed open the door, marching towards the alarm and blasting it. He glared at the alarm which was miraculously hanging from a wire before turning around and returning to their room.

**I-I-In..tr…er…ert…**

**BOOM!**

Everyone stared at the hole before turning to see a glaring Firebolt and Remus with their cannons smoking. Both were displeased that their _activities_ were interrupted. Both wore murderous expressions enough to send anyone running to their mommy.

**...er…rt…**

**BOOM!**

**BOOM!**

…**zzttt…**

**BOOM!**

"**WHY DON'T YOU JUST BLOODY SHUT UP?"**

**Whiiiirrrrrrrrrr** sounded the cannons as they brightened to the point of almost rivaling the sun. Everyone paled as they knew that was enough energy to destroy everyone in the room.

Before they could destroy anything, everyone was treated to the sight of Optimus and Ratchet grabbing their respective mates and kissing them in full view. To everyone's relief, the cannons immediately faded away. To everyone's danger of sanity, the seekers and Ironhide joined their mates as well. To everyone's preservation, they left to their respective rooms and berths to continue their _activities _in private.

**Ksssshhhhhh…**

**Bang!**

Everyone stared as Padfoot stood there with a mini-cannon smoking. She then made a victory sign "Bulls-eye!"

An explosion outside broke them out of their staring and had them running to the source.

No one bothered the _occupied_ mechs and femmes.

After all, no one wanted to meet their painful ends caused by irritated and murderous and needy sparkmates (Firebolt and Remus).

Though now they were regretting going outside. They started questioning their sanity as they saw the most feared leader of Decepticons painted pink, with red paint as lipstick, a crown on his head, wearing high heel and a pink tutu with fairy wings, bunny ears locked in a combat with an unfamiliar femme. (Hermione used some of the spells the twins invented for pranking. She had no idea but they sure are **very **effective at distraction)

Will stared at the sight before walking back to his room and his bed, hoping it was nothing but a bad and horrifying dream.

With that, the others followed his lead.

"I didn't sign up for this," Epps muttered as he covered his head with a pillow. It was just a nightmare, he tried to convince himself.

That image of Megatron was enough to send anyone screaming and running.

Besides, the Decepticon Leader could handle it. His mechliness and masculinity will suffer though.

**ooOOoo**

Ratchet sighed as he watched his patients of the day.

Sitting on one of the tables, chatting with Jazz and Padfoot who were visiting, was his and Ironhide's sparkmate, Moony, who has a broken axel when he attempted to walk after lots of interfacing and sparkmating that lasted for a day.

How did it escalate to that he did not know. But he sure did not regret it.

Megatron who was skulking ("I am not!") of one corner in all his pink glory with some dents and broken armor. The newly revealed Hermione was on the opposite side talking with the femme trine, miraculously unscratched and unharmed.

Skids and Mudflap sat far away from the fuming paintless Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. They had come running to the shower racks when they heard the screams and laughed at the sight which prompted the lambo-twins to attack them.

Starscream's trine, Optimus and Ironhide were with their respective mates.

The medbay was getting crowded.

He decided to scan Moony first to make sure there were no injuries he missed.

For the second time in their lifetimes, they were treated to the sight of Ratchet falling backwards with a crash, optics offline.

Remus scratched his helm, confused. "I think I heard him say something about 'Impossible'" the mech said, while trying not to panic.

Optimus, Megatron and Ironhide, who were both curious on the reason of the CMO's crashing, asked permission from the mech and scanned him.

They followed Ratchet into the land of unconsciousness.

Everyone stared at them.

Sunstreaker, his interest caught, scanned the mech, the action followed by his twin.

Both of them stared dumbfounded at Moony, more specifically his chassis. This… This was **not** possible!

"Y-You… You're… c-ca… YOU'RE CARRYING!" in an unSuntreakerish was, the golden mech managed to choke out while pointing a shaking finger at the clueless mech. Sideswipe was unconscious beside him, which was followed by Skids and Mudflap after his revelation. Sunstreaker followed them next after saying that.

Moony continued to look confused and looked at his companions. The twins were grinning, Firebolt was clapping in delight and squealing uncharacteristically, Jazz stared dumbfounded at him while Hermione and Padfoot just looked as confused as he was.

The sparkling patted the silver mech's arm to get his attention, "What does carrying mean?"

It was Firebolt that answered their question "In human terms, it means pregnant!" she said before glomping Remus, though gently "Congratulations!"

"Oh," was only Remus reaction.

Hermione, who had scanned her data profiles on the term, asked confused "I thought only femmes could carry and create another spark without the help of the AllSpark unlike mechs?"

Padfoot shrugged and patted the unconscious silver mech's helm, and said one word that held the only reason, "Magic,"

Everyone accepted the answer and shrugged.

After all, Magic works in mysterious ways.

No one noticed the cute little sparkling glaring at the 'fathers'

When evereyone had onlined, Ratchet and Ironhide were found painted blinding orange and glitters and bunny stickers with their afts stuck in the ceiling.

**ooOoo**

Padfoot gave a glare at the unsuspecting mech enough to rival the sun. Sure she liked new arrivals because that would mean new people to prank but this! This was unacceptable!

Ever since _He_ had arrived, Jazz spent little than normal time with her! Jazz always talked about him this, him that. Both of them hardly have any privacy!

She would not allow this.

Jazz was hers!

No one steals from a Marauder.

Prowl was going to pay!

Said mech shivered and scanned the room to see the sparkling glaring at him while clutching his sparkmate's arm. He chuckled at the cute expression on the little one's face. Since the war ended in favor of courting the femmes, there will be no attacks from the Decepticons so no reason to suspect them. It was just probably a small glitch, he thought as he turned back to his conversation with Jazz.

**ooOoo**

Remus sighed again as his sparkmates continued to fuss over him and their sparkling. He allowed himself to be giddy. Sparkling! Children! Cubs! He and his wolf side were almost physically glowing in joy. That didn't mean he liked it when mechs stared at him as if he was a miracle (which he technically is).

He has mates and his family and his baby. What more could he ask for?

Well, except for the ability to eat chocolate again. That was one downside on being a autonomous robotic organism

No chocolate.

The three of them paused on their way to the med bay when they saw Prowl ran past through them covered in catnip. He was then followed by a mob of yowling cats.

The werewolf sighed.

**ooOoo**

**ALERT!**

**I have a problem. The documents that were supposed to be the next 3 chapters of Unexpected Changes were unexpectedly gone along with the life of my laptop. And I have lost interest. So~ Motivation?**

**Please review and if possible, ideas!**

**Thanks,**

**Silver**


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